To Loathe or To Love
by Ni-GrAce
Summary: While Toshiro Toshiro is dating Momo, Karin is dating Jinta. While Toshiro love Karin, Karin loathe him. What will be happen between them?  -Republish all chapters-
1. My name is Kurosaki Karin

**I know what you are thinking about me. I haven't finished my other stories but I write a new story. I just have no idea how I should continue my other stories. So, I will just wait until the idea stuck into my head.**

**This is another story of HitsuKarin.**

**I hope you like this story!**

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><p><strong>~To Loathe or To Love~<strong>

_TING TANG TING TONG_

The bell is finally ringing, a blessed sign that the school that day is finally over. All the students are hurriedly exiting the classroom while chatting to their friends. "Karin, are you going to attend tonight's performance?" a short-haired female asked me.

"Of course I'm not. How about you, Tatsuki-nee? Are you going to go?" I said while standing up.

"Of course I'm going to!" Tatsuki exclaimed happily. Shaking my head at her tone, Tatsuki and I walked together out of the school.

"YO!" A red-haired male loudly greeted us as he and his companion, a tall boy with a tattoo on his face, approached.

"Shuhei!" Tatsuki happily ran to the tall male, hugging him excitedly.

Once more shaking my head at my friend's antics, I walked over to them. "Lovely as always." I whispered to Jinta, causing him to smirk when he heard my comment.

Jinta and I observed the cute couple for a few moments before the two of them began to show signs that they meant to go further than hugging as Tatsuki's lips began to near Shuhei's. "AHEM!" Icoughed loudly, giving them a warning look. Jinta turned his reddening face away from them.

Soon, the lovely couple's face turned red from embarrassment. "Hehehe…" Tatsuki smiled while blushing. "Let's go already!" I exclaimed while dragging Jinta along with me, the still blushing Tatsuki and Shuhei trailing behind us.

We walked together until we reached a crossroad. Our homes were all in different directions, so we each took a separate path "See you guys tomorrow!" I said while turning to left. "See you." Tatsuki shouted back.

I arrived at home, opened the door and… "MY LOVELY DAUGHTER, KARIN-CHAN, HAS COME BACK FROM SCHOOL!" A crazy goat-faced man shouted as he tried to hug me, but I snapped a kick to his face sending him flying into the wall.

"I'm home." I said nonchalantly, as this was an everyday occurrence. The next moment, that crazy man was crying at a huge poster of Mom while howling, "Masaki! Our daughter is so harsh with me!" I rolled my eyes and just went upstairs. I got to my bedroom, put my bag on the desk, and got a blank book from one of the drawers.

It's a diary, and a new one at that. I've never written in a diary before and I had decided to give it a try. I got my pencil and began to write in the book.

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><p><strong>May<strong>**1st.**

Today I started writing a diary. This is my first time, and I don't know what I should write first.

_I guess I should talk about myself, my friends, and my family._My name is Kurosaki Karin, an ordinary student at Karakura High. Well… at least I think I'm an ordinary student. However, everyone in my school, including teachers, think that I should have just been born a boy and not a girl. Yes, I'm a boyish girl, but I'm still A GIRL.

I am now… 15 years old, I think. I have forgotten my age and my birthday. It isn't important for me, anyway. I have a long black straight hair and a pair of grey eyes. I'm about 160 cm tall, not too short but not too tall. It is average I think.

My family is a crazy family. You will agree with me if you see my family yourself. We own a big hospital, the biggest in Karakura. My father is the doctor. We are rich, but not the richest. My father is Kurosaki Isshin, the craziest man in my family. He is… well, I don't know how to describe him. Just to let you know, he's always crying at a huge poster of Mom if anything happens, good or bad, everything!

I have an older brother, his name is Kurosaki Ichigo. His hair is orange and it is spiky, not like mine. He is studying aboard at England, but I don't know what city or what university. He's been gone for about 3 years and hasn't come back yet. He is stupid in emotional things and really stubborn.

And I have a fraternal twin. Her name is Kurosaki Yuzu, and she's younger than me by three minutes. She is really kind and an honest girl. Everyone likes her; no one could hate her because she is just too kind! She is the one that plays the mother role in my family since our mother passed away when we were just three.

And about me… I have a poor culinary skill; my food could make everyone sick. So, don't try any food that I cook or you will end up at hospital. I have warned you. My specialty is sports, I enjoy playing all kinds of sports, and I've even won a lot of medals at sports. That is what makes me feel proud of my ability. I can't dance ballet, I can only dance waltz, and it is because my stupid father force me to study it even though it is not important in this era anymore. I can sing and draw a bit.

Now, we talk about school. My school is Karakura High, an all-girls school. I am in the first grade, S - Class. I will explain the class system later. The principal is Shihoin Yoruichi, my aunt. The vice principal is bumble bee. I don't know what her name; it's what Yoruichi-san calls her. Most of the students are rich, some of them are smart but not rich, and a few students that are rich and smart.

The class system, as I have mentioned before, is beginning from AX – Class, S – Class, A – Class, until T – Class. Each of the class has 50 students, except AX – Class and S – Class. I will explain about these classes.

AX – Class is a class for the students who want to graduate faster, all of them are geniuses like Einstein or Thomas Alfa Edison and there are just about 20 people in a class. This class divides in two; AX expert is a class for the students who want to graduate in one year. This class is the most expensive from all classes, it costs three times the ordinary class fee; the second one is AX intermediate, a class for the students who want to graduate in two years. It costs two times the ordinary class fee.

S – Class is a class with students in a special talent. The students in this class just study Math and their talent. For example, I like all kinds of sports and it is my talent. So, in this class, I will just study Math and Sports. I will learn all about sports, their history and else, and practice it with the teachers here. More than one talent is possible.

Before we start studying, the teacher will give us a test to see what our talents are, and from the test results, our class will be separated. Students with the same talent will be in the same classroom. There are just about 10 students each class.

Not everyone could be in S – Class. It is not because of the fee, the fees are just a bit more expensive that the ordinary class. It is because the only one that could get in is a talented student or has a natural talent.

The ordinary classes go from A – Class, the smartest of all the ordinary classes until T – Class. I won't say that they are stupid because it will make them angry. It is just they are not as smart as the other students. That is about the classes. Let's move on to my friends.

The first one is Arisawa Tatsuki, one of my best friends. She is two years older than me and is in her third grade this year. She is in the B – Class, unlike me. Her boyfriend is Hisagi Shuhei, a male with a "69" tattoo on the left side of his face. Shuhei is an extremely mature and calm person. He is studying at Seireitei High, the all-boys school.

The system is same as my school, the principal is Urahara Kisuke, my uncle, and the vice-captain is Tsukabishi Tessai.

The next one is Hanakari Jinta, one of my 'boy' friends. His hair is red, he's taller than me and stubborn, just like me. We fight a lot but we care each other like siblings. I have a lot of friend too but since you haven't met them, I will skip it. But I can't skip this one.

The last one is Hitsugaya Toshiro, the Mr. Jerk. I don't why but I really loathe him. From the first time we met until now, I still loathe him. This Hitsugaya jerk is the most popular guy in the Seireitei High. He is almost good in everything, the smartest boy in the school, even smarter than the one's in the AX – Class.

He didn't join the AX – Class, and I don't know why. He is the ice prince. Everyone says he is cold, a genius, and handsome, but for me he is a jerk and pervert. He is short, so I call him Shorty. He has white hair, so I call him Shiro-chan. He lived in the huge house next door, his bedroom is opposite mine.

We fight a lot, especially in our house. Both of us have a habit to look at the sky all the time when we are at home. So, we will meet each other at the balcony. We will fight every time we meet each other, with our mouth or our action. Other say he is dating Hinamori Momo.

Okay, this is it for today. This is more like a letter than a diary but this is just an introduction. Maybe this book will be read by my children or grandchildren or someone else later, and an introduction is needed for those who don't understand it.

See you next time.

K.K

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><p>I closed my diary and locked it. I open my window and looked at the sky. It is cloudy. "Miss. Rain is always bring rain to everywhere with her." This is it! That JERK'S voice, the one that I really HATE. I don't want to see his face and I just ignored him.<p>

_BUK_

A pillow hit's me in my face. "What the hell?" I shouted to him. He just smirked. Well, I'm angry now. _'Wait for me, you bastard!' _I thought. I go inside my room and come out again. I throw a can and it hits his head. "OW! That hurt!" he yelled in pain. He glared at me.

"You started it! You're the one who threw a pillow at me. Anyway, thanks for your pillow." I shouted, smirking at him. I take the pillow, walk into my room and closed the window. "You will pay for this, Kurosaki Karin!" I heard him scream angrily. I chuckled. "I really loathe you, Hitsugaya Toshiro, who made me fall in love with you." I whispered sadly.

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><p><strong>This chap is beta by Zekuran. Thanks a lot, Zekuran! I owe you a lot!<strong>

**please do review, readers! Thanks.**


	2. A day when it is raining

**Hey, readers! We meet again… After a long time, I decided to continue this story. Please enjoy the reading~**

**I do not own Bleach.**

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><p><strong>~To Loathe or To Love~<strong>

**A day when it is raining…**

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><p>I see a child… But who is it? I can't see it clearly. Who? Who is it?<p>

"_Ugh…" _

"_Is it you, Kurosaki pig? You fall into a hole?"_

Kurosaki pig? Then it must be me. But who is that boy? I can't see him!

"_S-shut up! SHORTY!"_

Shorty? Is it Toshiro? But how? Why do I see him here? This is my dream. Why do I dream about him? Why?

"_Don't call me Shorty!"_

"_SHORTY SHORTY SHORTY!"_

"_Huh!"_

"_Eh?"_

'_It is raining.'_

"_W-wha… Shorty! Let me down!"_

"_Will you just shut up?! You can't even stand with your own feet! I have helped you but you don't even say thank you!"_

"…"

The images… why do those feels so familiar to me? This is a dream, right? Or is this….?

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><p><em>Tit Tit Tiiiiiit<em>

"Ugh… shut up, you stupid clock…" I throw my pillow to the alarm clock; want to drive back to my dream. However, the clock is just so stubborn! It doesn't want to shut up! It left me no choice but wake up and shut it myself.

I get up from bed, still sleepy. As the result, my eyes refuse to open wide, making me difficult to see around. I try to blink my eyes a few times before I walk to the window. I open the curtain and let the sunshine come through the window. _'Damn, it's bright.' _I though as I block the sunshine with my right hand. "It's going to be hot today."

Slowly, I open the window and walk out to the balcony, enjoying the fresh air in the morning. I hear the birds singing on a tree, I see children playing around. Seeing the usual scene like this make me smile a little. For a moment, my heart feels so calm until I remember my dream.

I think back about the dream I had last night. I feel like that wasn't a dream. It seems it was part of my memories that have been forgotten. The images are so blur that I can't figure out what had happened there.

'_Weird dream.' _My glance arrives at Shorty's window. It is dark because the curtain blocks the sunshine through it. _'Looks like Shiro haven't waked up yet. But it isn't strange. He must have attended last night's performance.'_

I walk back to my room, looking at his window one more time again, then close the window and walk to the bathroom. "Karin-Chan! Breakfast is ready!" I heard Yuzu's voice calling for me.

"Wait for a minute!" I shout. Then I quickly take a bath and get dress. Today is hot, so I wear blue t-shirt and white shorts. I walk down to downstairs and go to the dining room. There I see no one. NO ONE.

"Well… This is strange… I'm sure that I heard Yuzu called me just now…But why can't I see a human here?" my eyes turn to the table. "And with an empty table?" I scowl. This isn't something that I expected. Was it a hallucination? Or is it just a dream? Either way, I'm still haven't had a breakfast yet. "Surely, this isn't funny at all."

I walk out from my house and I see something that I didn't expect again. He is there, leaning against the wall. When I say he, I mean HE. You know who it is. How can he already in front of my house? I was thinking that he is still sleeping but now he pop up in front of me. _'I guess I should just ignore him.'_ I thought as I walk pass him with an indifference face.

"Ignore a guest when you have already seen him?" I can hear him ask angrily, more likely a statement. "What do you want, Shorty?" I ask while I'm walking. My stomach has already playing drum and I can feel the wind dancing around inside my stomach.

"Stop calling me Shorty! Can you show a good way by stop walking and face me when you are talking?!" he growl. I can imagine that by now he is frowning. Yeah, I can see the lines on his face that make him look like a 50-year-old old man. Including his pure white hair, he really looks like an old man.

"I'm in a hurry, Shorty. Buy me something to eat for breakfast, and then I will hear what you want to say. Or, leave me alone and come back later. Choose one." I say boringly while running a little. My stomach has growling continuously. It is yelling for food.

"I have yet answered it but you have already run away!" he is running beside me now. Before I even notice it, both of us have run full speed, something like win or death. Wow… Something like that is usual happens in my life when I meet him.

You can imagine what we look like by now. Sweating but feet still working, faster and faster, like a robot. People are looking at us with a strange look but I ignore all of them. Now my goal is arrive at _Karakura Café faster_ than him. I don't know why but somehow he knows where I'm running to.

The power turns off when we reach that café and our feet immediately stop working. I walk forward and leaning at the wall. I'm panting, gasping for air. Sweats are running down from my head and all my body. Great. Now I'm smelly when I have just taken a bath.

My eyes running to him and I can see him panting too. "Now… what's your answer?" I ask him weakly. I'm really exhausted from running so fast with empty stomach. He glares at me and it will surely kill me if it can kill people.

"Fine. I'll pay but you must listen to me. We have some business here." He says with lines never leaving him. "Blah blah, whatever. Come on, Shorty. Loser is going to pay." I said, smirking while entering the café.

"I'm not a loser! I was just happened to arrive 1 minute after you!" I just ignore him. To think that he has a cold personality… I wonder why he can act like a child when he is with me…

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><p>I stay still in my seat without moving, even my fingers stay frozen through all his words. I think you will be frozen as well when you listen to every word that runs out from my dearest rival. Did I just say dearest? Oh, that is unusual for me.<p>

He finishes his talk and look at me expectedly. "So?" I don't really know what answer I should give. It is out of imagination that he, Hitsugaya Toshiro, who is the smartest and the coldest boy, need my help. NEED. MY. HELP. Impossible thing, isn't it?

"So? Is that what you will say after my long speech?" he raises one of his eyebrows. "Let see… it is the MOST impossible thing to happen in my life." I mumble. "And I think you have Hina as your girl." I continue. I use some of I-you-know words, the only words that I and he share together. It enable us to talk freely without people understanding it.

"No way. Truth says that she is the one that glued her to me. I never think you are a person that likes bird's songs." My eyes running to the other side of the café, scanning around and then driving back to him again. "Well, my answer is no. Find another one that is more suitable for the job. I've already have Jinta as mine." I rise up from my seat.

"You have…?" he sounds shock to know about it. "Yes. You pay the bill. Bye, Shorty." I say as I wave my hand and leave the café. I don't know what he will think about me, but I have my path of life that is different from him.

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><p><em>Tik… Tik… Tik… BIIUURR….<em>

Great… just so damn great… It's raining when it's so damn bright! Ugh… I grit my teeth. What am I suppose to do now? My body is wet and I can't walk. If I hadn't tumble on a stone, my ankle wouldn't sprain like this.

I stay in my place, in a sitting position. My leg keeps resisting to stay still because of the pain that stabbing my heart. Once I move it, it's like a bomb landing on my head. What a horrible experience.

Not long later, I hear footsteps and I see a shadow. A human shadow. Someone is here to help me. Thank God, you are so kind to me!

"Is it you, Kurosaki pig? You fall down?" It is Shorty that comes! Shit! Why he is the one that come out of all people who live in Karakura?! It is embarrassing to let him know about what happen.

"S-shut up! SHORTY!" I shout angrily. Why, God, WHY?! Out of all people who I know, why should you send him to help me?! It's impossible for me to ask for his help! He is my rival after all!

"Don't call me Shorty!" I heard him yelling. However, because of my bad mood stage, I prefer doing exactly the opposite of his command. Yeah, the opposite. "SHORTY SHORTY SHORTY!" I mock him, which I know will really piss him off.

"Grr…" he sends me a death glares but after that he walks to my place. "Eh?" I blink several times; don't get what he is up to. But now I know, because he picks me up piggy style. "W-wha… Shorty! Let me down!" I shout while punching his shoulder. Well, kind of rude, but I'm not a child anymore! Piggy style doesn't suits me at all!

"Will you just shut up?! You can't even stand with your own feet! I have helped you but instead of saying thank you, you're just shouting around!" he growled and then walk with me at his back. He isn't using any umbrella; he is as wet as me.

"…"

Now I remember the memory that has been forgotten. I close my eyes and try to replay the video again, the video of my memory.

It was 7 years ago…

_I was sitting in a big hole, I fell down when I was running and injuring my leg. "Ugh…" it is bleeding and there is no one to help me. What should I do?_

"_Is it you, Kurosaki pig? You fall into a hole?" Suddenly, I hear a voice, the voice that I know so well, that bastard's voice. He teases me! "S-shut up! SHORTY!"I shout angrily. "Don't call me shorty!"He growl. _

_However, I'm a stubborn Kurosaki, won't listen to anyone word unless it is the only way to live. "SHORTY SHORTY SHORTY!"I say triple Shorty once, making him frustrated. "Huh!"He leaves me alone. I think he is really angry now. Even if I feel guilty about it, there is no point of apologizing to him._

_I feel something drop on my head. "Eh?"I look at the sky and I see water dropping one by one, slowly but continuously. 'It is raining.' I can't go home in this situation. What am I suppose to do? I didn't notice the person behind me when suddenly I feel someone pick me up. _

_I turn my head and I face Shorty's white hair. He is picking me up with piggy style. "W-wha… Shorty! Let me down!"I shout, try to get out from his grip. _

"_Will you just shut up?! You can't even stand with your own feet! I have helped you but instead of saying thank you, you're just shouting around!"He yell at me and just keep walking, taking me back to home._

"…"

_He makes me speechless… _

I open my eyes again. I remember my feelings toward him that time. That was the first time he shows his kindness toward me. That was the first time I erased all my bad opinion about him. That was the first time when I fall for him.

"You know, it's embarrassing for me to be picked like this." I comment after a long silent between us. "Yeah… and I really regret it. You are heavier that I think." He teases me. Of course he just earning a punch from me, but it is a light punch.

He glares again at me, but after that, silent fills again. When I arrive home later, I will write this event into my diary.

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><p><strong>Mei 2<strong>**nd**

It begins on a day that is raining…

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><p><strong>Review! Tell me your opinion please!<strong>

**And also thanks for the reviewers of the first chapter!  
>AsiansAreAwesome-AAA, pers3as, aoi mayu, (unknown reviewer), PiPoPiP, lil'chrome-chan, and Ami Hitsagaya.<strong>

**Don't forget to review, Kay**


	3. The begining of changing

**Readers, long time no see~ I think it's already a year since my last update... I'm really sorry! .**

**Well then, this is a short chap, but please enjoy it~**

**Disclaimer : I own nothing**

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><p><strong>~To Loathe or To Love~<strong>

I'm in a real foul mood now. I can do nothing, go nowhere, and was forced to stay in the bed all day even though I refuse to do so. Just because I sprained my ankle, it doesn't mean I must stay in the bed until it heals.

It's already a week passed since that accident, but my stupid father isn't going to let me out of bed. Even my food is always delivered to me by Yuzu. "Does he know just how many things that I've missed at school?" I shout angrily. _'Don't blame me if I fail at my test!'_

Ever since that accident, I just lie on bed although sometimes I walk around my bedroom secretly. I'll die if that stupid father or Ichi-nii found out. They are just way too protective for someone who is already 15-year-old.

I sigh while looking out the window. Today is surprisingly cloudy and cold. "Will it rain?" I ask to no body. I let my gaze stop at Shorty's room. _'It's dark.'_ I turn to see my clock and it's already 3 p.m. _'class should have over for an hour.'_ I though as I looking back at his room. _'Maybe he has a date with Hinamori.'_

That though make me feel uncomfortable, but if I think it closely, it doesn't seem like I really love him. Maybe it's just a usual feeling that I mistook as a love. "Besides, I don't even know what it feels to love someone." I say out loud. Lie or not, it depends on which way do I take from now on.

Suddenly, I hear knocks on door. "Come in." I answer, thinking that it might be Yuzu, but no. It turns out to be Jinta. "Yo, how do you feel?" he greets as he come into my room.

After closing the door, he walks to my bed and sit on an empty chair beside it. "After a whole week, you finally show up here." I comment grumpy. He chuckles while taking out notebooks and papers from his bag. "You should be grateful that I come with these things." He says as he pointing the notebooks and papers.

"What's that?" I ask while taking a look on one of the notebook. That notebook has a white cover with a **'Mathematic'** word written on it. I gasp as I open the book. It has all the notes that I've missed for a whole week. "How can you get this?!" I ask with a surprised tone.

"Well, you can thank Ururu for that. She is the one that ask me to deliver this to you." Jinta answers with a smirk plasters on his face. "Oh, Ururu. You're my angel!" I exclaim as I look at the note with a happy face.

"Hei! How 'bout me?!" Jinta comments as he shows a fake sad expression. "What? Did you expect me to say you're my god?" I say as I laugh. He just scoffs at me though. Well, Jinta always know how to brighten my gloomy day. I really love him for that.

I laugh for a while before I can finally settle down. I feel tired from laughing too long. I might die from laughing. Then I hear Jinta sighs a few times before he open his mouth. "So… Do you want to come with me?" he asks suddenly.

"Hah? What do you mean?" I ask as I try to restrain myself from laughing again. "The prom…" he continues. I nearly freeze when I heard him saying that word. "Prom? Are you kidding? I'm not going to attend…" I mutter as I clench my fist.

I remember the last time I attend a prom; I just end up alone all night. The worst is that I just spent all night watching Shorty danced with Hinamori. Well, honestly, I wore something that was so plain to begin with, so I guess no one was noticing me there. I don't want to experience it anymore. It's better if I stay at home this time.

Suddenly I feel Jinta's hand holds my hand. "Don't worry, you have me as your partner." He whispers at my ear. I turn to see him and I can see his face is blushing while looking at the window. I smile a little while seeing his cute side like this.

"You know, you are cute when you are blushing." I stating while smiling. His face turns even redder than it has been. "Thanks, I really appreciate that." I say as I look straight at him. He turns to me too, and looks at me expectedly. "Your answer, Karin?"

"Oh, yes. How can I reject an honest request like that?" I answer between my giggle. "Don't laugh! Do you know just how much courage that I need to ask you that?" he snaps at me. Then he turns red, as red as tomato, from embarrassment.

"Yeah, yeah. So, it's a date, huh?" I tease him, seeing him a bit panic. "Eh?!" For a moment, it seems he can't act properly. "It's… huh… maybe…" he replies nervously and I can see him sweating a lot. I just couldn't help it anymore. I laugh so hard while patting his head.

"You are so cute Jinta!"

Just after I tease him, rain start to pour heavily. Neither do I know nor do I expect my life in the future will become as cold as the rain that pouring that moment.

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><p><em>Two years later…<em>

**December 24****th**

That time, I didn't realize that just from a simple request that Jinta asked me, everything start moving to a different way, changed drastically. When I know it, it's already too late for me to do anything. I can't go back anymore. It's already a past for me, and yet I always hope that I can go back to change things that I could have change, if only I knew it.

I regret it, the decision that I took 2 years ago, on December 24th… on Christmas Eve.

The decision that separated me and Toshiro…

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><p><strong>I know it's really short, but I promise a longer chapter by this weekend! Since I'm in a holiday, I have plenty of time to spend on my fics. And also I'll try my best to update my other stories by this Thursday.<strong>

**One more time, I apologise to all readers, who have waited for so long. I'm really sorry. Hope that you can forgive me.**

**Don't forget to review, Kay?**


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